The Quest #22

None up, none down. I eliminated some of the no answers, so I consider those passes. I sent my first two queries for the children’s book I wrote for my nephew. Maybe I will find an agent that way. Sneaky.

This week a friend and I made up a Tiktok account to try and get some eyes. We also recoded some longer videos to put out else were. I hope I can explain the book and make an audience. I have my doubts that my audience is on tiktok, but you never know.

God, I hate social media so much.

I’ve started making reddit posts and will get over my hate to post onto twitter and bluesky.

Oh well.

The Quest continues! Thanks for reading,

Michael

Flash Friday #12

World Building

“The key to building a world is the structure,” Grand High Architect Vlgin said to the class.

Outside the thick windows the outline of a planet made in steel, vast bands of latitude and longitude miles across describing a world forty thousand miles. The awed class of students watched the megaproject. Their teacher was awed as well. This was the sort of thing

“You need to have a goal in mind. Here, we are capturing all the dust in the system to make a new world. World building is like an iceberg. Most people will never see anything other than the surface, the tip, if you will.”

As they watched a large asteroid was towed into view. 

“All the resources will be brought in to make this world. Naturally, this would take a long time. Millions of years even, but these days, time is nothing compared to our technology. Worlds bow at our feet. Pressure. It’s all about pressure and time and we have needs not in alignment with that.”

One student raised a hand. “How do you make the planet useful so quickly?”

The Grand High Architect laughed. “By manipulating the very forces of the universe.” He set his hands on a dial and ticked it forward just once. Then he brought it back to its original position. He gestured grandly to the window.

The class looked out.

There indeed was a planet. Fully formed with oceans and skies. Vlgin looked proudly over it all. He rested a hand on the dial. It slipped. Another tick later, the planet was gone. Every piece of it vanished. There was no dust, no rings. All of it was gone.

“Where is it?” the students asked.

Vlgin gulped. He didn’t know. “Um. Ta da!”

How to Steal

And why robots can’t do it right.

Art inspires art.

It doesn’t really matter what it is. The mere act of engaging with art will give you ideas. Books, poetry, painting, sculpture, film, fashion, theater, music, dance, crochet, whatever. All of it gives you an idea simply by engaging with it. Even a brief glance or listen will spark something.

Sometimes, that inspires an artist. It puts in you such a feeling to respond to it that you go home and sit down and give it a go.

Everyone’s first time making art results in a disappointment. It just isn’t as good in the world as it was in the mind. Sometimes that makes the inspiration fizzle out. Sometimes the embers are too hot to die.

If they burn hot, then you will come back. Again and again. You will refine your craft and become an artist.

So inspiration then faces a new question. Where does inspiration become theft? I will argue that it is binary. There is no fuzzy line. There is plagiarism and there is art. Nothing in between.

What’s the difference?

I read widely. I rad books of people who have broken in, the people who I hope to be some day soon. I read best sellers and barely sellers. Recently I’ve skewed towards nonfiction searching for ideas to put into my characters. I have a particular fondness for the classical world, when everyone who could write thought it was their duty to, so that we have books on exciting topics and banal ones.  

I frequently go to art museums to see if the paintings stir something in me. Sometimes I come out with an idea. Sometimes I just enjoy a day in a museum. I listen to music constantly. Exploring what people have said in other times and languages.

I take all of this, all the art I love and all the art I can’t stand, and I throw it into the back of my mind. That place is a compost heap, where things breakdown and become unrecognizable. They sit there, bump into one another, and break down.

Importantly, I put them in with my own experiences. Conversations that I have, memories of really embarrassing things I said or did, waiting in lines. All the ordinary experience of life gets tossed back there.

Then, when I need an idea for a story or character, I go to the compost and take a shovel full. My inspirations are in there, but so too is myself.

That is the line. If you can take your inspiration and put a part of yourself into it, then it is art. We are all working in a tradition, a history. Look through the sands of time and you will see your forebearers doing the same. It all goes back to before we were men.

And that’s just fine. I often laugh at the people saying their story is an original. I don’t really believe in this mythical original story. In our culture, there are only two stories. The Iliad and The Odyssey.

That’s it. Boil it down and any story reduces to these two books. The difference is the artist. The part of themselves that they put in the story.

Sometimes a piece is in conversation with another. It can be combative or constructive. There is no need to dig deep into the compost because you want to write about the stuff right on top. But that’s fine too because you bring yourself into it. Parody is art too.

Plagiarism happens when you don’t. If I made a painting of swirling blue and called it ‘Night of Stars’ to imitate Van Gogh, I would be a hack. Plain and simple. That was how he saw the world. It’s not how I see it.

It is a mistake to believe that Art is the Idea. The spark of inspiration is someone else’s art. Not your art. Having an idea is easy. That’s the brain’s job. Its job is to tell stories when bored. To come up with ideas.

The art is the work. The random faults and imperfections made along the way. It’s the It’s the struggle to make something that matters.

Therein lies the problem of LLMs. First, they can’t put any part of themselves into anything. They have no experience, hopes, or dreams. Fear means nothing to them. Nor does joy. So any piece made with them is simply a falsehood.

And since LLMs are trained on the sum of human art without the permission of the artists, all they are is plagiarism robots. They can only imitate, never add. They appeal to the sort of people who want to skip corners. Pump out garbage and flood the market until no one can see art anymore. Consume, consume, consume, then masticate and spew it all back. There is no art in telling a machine to make your story for you. A machine trained to steal but in the wrong way. The Plagiarism Machine takes ideas and gives nothing back.

Ideas are not special. Every idea I’ve ever had has been had by someone else. I have a fantasy epic poem. Tolkien did that. I have a cozy fantasy where characters try to solve problems as they work through their trauma. Not unique.

The uniqueness comes because I wrote them. Not a machine. Every single word I put down on a page. My love for oddballs and history. The idiosyncratic way I write. It comes from everything I have seen.

In essence, it comes from me.

That is the only way to make anything new. Because all the ideas are old and have been thought before. But I have never had my say with them yet.

That is how to steal. From everyone, all the time. Steal, but always let the theft be marked with your calling card.

Thanks for reading, Michael   

Flash Friday #11

Dark Magic

            Ferro fumbled with his spear, alone in the watch. Everyone else had gone off to drink tonight, which is why they weren’t responding to his warning cries. In the road, approaching him steadily, was a hooded figure. The night made it difficult to see exactly what they were wearing, but the occasional flicker of light from his torch clearly showed runes sewn into the robe.

A witch…or wizard. Probably the latter judging by the height.

Ferro shook in his boots. It was not a good thing to encounter either one when alone. They could turn him into a whole manner of unnatural things, or break his mind and make him a slave. This was war, no matter how calm it seemed here. True, he was a hundred miles from the fighting, guarding supplies with a company of ne’er-do-wells, but war was war, and it never did well to let his guard down.

The figure continued to approach despite his warnings, and the alarm continued to fail being raised. Ferro was against the wizard all by himself. Those were bad odds. His palms were beginning to sweat. It was strange that he wasn’t dead yet. Any wizard worth their salt could have killed him from five miles away, or further if they knew his name.

“This is your last warning,” Ferro said in halting breath. “Ferro of the Guard orders you to halt.” That was a mistake. The approaching wizard had no way of knowing his name, and now he had given it out for free. He was going to spend the rest of his days as a donkey, he just knew it.

“Shh.” The hooded figure raised a finger to their lips and tried to quiet him. “Listen Ferro.” The guard flinched. “I’ve had a bit too much to drink today and my head is killing me. Please don’t yell.”

The spear in his hand nearly slid out, it was so wet. His knees were knocking together. “Halt,” he whispered, as if being polite to a mage would spare his life. It wouldn’t, there were far too many stories about wizards and witches, and if even a tenth of them were true, he was a goner.

The wizard was upon him now, gently guiding the spear away with their hands. Ferro raised the torch. The wizard shied away. He couldn’t see their face, but they were still making the shushing noise.

“Could you extinguish your torch; bright light is terrible for me right now.” The wizard’s hand that was not on the spear tried to wave off the light. Ferro clung to the torch tighter.

“No,” he said in meek defiance. No one would ever hear his story, but the gods would know how he stood up to a wizard with only a spear and a torch.

The hooded figure sighed. “I didn’t want to do this,” they said. Ferro winced, expecting death to come for him in that moment. The wizard waved a hand and the light went out. Night fell over them. Ferro made a squeak. Hopefully the gods wouldn’t see that.

“There,” said the wizard. “Dark magic.”

The Quest #21

One up, none down. Haven’t started applying to picture book agents yet, but I have been scoping some out. I’ll have to make a query letter and research what they’re looking for. My story is a silly little adventure and doesn’t teach children much, but it is a fun read.

After a talk with a friend I’ve formulated a social media plan. Personally, I hate social media and think it is destroying the fabric of society. But it is unmatched when it comes to building an audience. Until everyone puts down their social media and go back to getting ads the old fashioned way (morse code and semaphore), I have to learn it and get good.

So I will be throwing myself into the hellscape for the sheer masochistic pleasure of it. Hopefully I will find the people interested in Epic Poems.

The Quest continues! Thank you for reading.

Michael

Flash Friday #10

Blade Master

Water fell down a short drop into a large pond. Fish swam lazily in the waters. The gardens were peaceful as students filed in. Noble men and women, here to study beneath the famed Blade Master.

This rite of passage, widely celebrated for all people of high birth. Their coming of age required a sword dance. They needed the Blade Master. The students gathered around the pool, dressed in their white dueling pads.

The day wore on, then on. Noon approached and there was no sigh of the Blade Master. The children of the great and powerful waited, dipping their feet in the water.

Then, suddenly bushes were parted and a wild looking man in red velvet. A branch poked from his hair. His eyes burned red. The smell of whiskey followed him as a cloud. “Ah. Students. Good.”

He walked impressively out onto the waterfall, his boots sinking into the water. His blade hung loose from his belt. “Here stands the flower of our city. The best of people.” His head swiveled with large movements to see them all. “Your future husbands are here. Your future wives. Look around. Some of you are already betrothed.”

He drew his sword and lumbered off to his right. The first student shook as the Blade Master advanced on her.

“Draw your sword,” he commanded.

She obeyed. He lunged at her in a slow, drunk motion. She flailed her sword up and parried. The Blade Master stumbled off into the bushes. He slowly collected himself. None of the students rushed to help him. The woman who parried looked around wildly to her peers.

The Blade Master picked himself up. He leveled his blade at her. “Well done. You have passed.” He stumbled towards the next student, who drew their blade. “See I can’t fail any of you because then your fathers would kill me. If all of you pass, then there is no reason to study that culture that made you great.” He lunged and again was parried.

“You pass. It means nothing to you. Not to any of you. How could you care? You care for nothing real.” Each weak parry was defeated by subsequent students. Each success was named successful.

“Soon you will be presented to the world. Little lordlings. Little ladies. None of you could fight a battle. You have grown weak. Soft.” He threw up his hands. “It doesn’t matter. You don’t matter. There is not one of you who could do this properly.”

His students said nothing as they watched him, stunned. They had been looking forward to this day, to becoming adults. This was more than they bargained for. The Blade Master lunged again and stabbed the next student through the heart. The young man slid off his blade and fell into the water. Blood painted the water crimson. The others gasped in horror. The Blade Master looked down, surprised.

He looked to his blade. “That was a man dedicated to the craft,” he said.

A Million Words

A million words.

Looking over what I’ve written since graduating, I think I’m approaching a million words of fiction. It helps when I write every day. This was just a thought, so here’s the tally to see if I was right.

  • The Ring of Dain Thar Duin ⸻ 210,000 words (that a long epic fantasy epic poem)
  • The Quintilogy ⸻ 150,000 words (space cowboy available on Kindle)
  • Howl ⸻ 121,000 words (The first novel I wrote. I’ve been posting it only to try to get a following, but haven’t had much traction other than people spamming me for art commissions.)
  • The Rider ⸻ 220,000 words (This is a black powder fantasy that has a lot of problems)
  • The Worth of a Stone ⸻ 134,000 words (a fantasy that I am trying to find an agent for)
  • The Peacock ⸻ 53,000 words (a historical fiction based on the East India Company’s conquest of India)
  • Firella ⸻ 50,000 words (a historical fiction based on calcio storico)
  • Short Stories ~ 60,000 words (this is a guess but I have quite a few of these)
  • Current projects ~ 80,000 words (I’m jumping between things based on what I feel like writing that day.)

I’ve probably missed a couple of things, but this count comes out to 1,078,000 words. This does not include my professional ghost writing.  I think at this point that I can say I’m not an apprentice writer anymore. I am a journeyman. I am confident in the quality of my work. Now I just need to convince the world.

Thanks for reading,

Michael

Flash Friday # 9

Chef Gaspar’s Gastric Gastropod Grief

Anthony slouched into the kitchen, a yellow ticket waving in his hand. Another one. They never stopped coming in this place.

“What!” Gaspar snapped. “Don’t just stand there. Tell me what I have to make!”

Anthony looked taken aback. “It’s not my fault the staff are all sick. They undercooked the fish, not me.”

Gaspar grabbed hold of him. “And yet you got the easy job and I’m in here with all this!” He waved his hand at the chaos behind him. A chicken squawked. He pulled Anthony close and growled at him. “What do they want?”

“The seafood platter. Lobster and mussels.”

Gaspar let go of him. Lobster, muscles. Done. He ran through the kitchen searching for them. He loved the hotel, he really did, but he was a valet, not a cook. How were they to know the prime minister would be in today.

He pulled out steaks. Meat was muscle. He lay it out and looked over it. Lobster went with this? He shrugged and began marinating the meat.

The door opened and Anthony came back in. He paused. “What are you doing?”

“Preparing the muscles.”

“No! Mussels. Bivalves.”

“Lobsters, by valve?”

“Yes!”

Gaspar put the beef away. He reached into the lobster tank and pulled out two disappointed looking lobsters. He turned to the kitchen. Valves. Valves. How did he cook lobsters by valves?

Looking up, he saw a pipe running through the kitchen. There was a handle on it. That was a valve, the only one in the kitchen. He followed the pipe to the dishwasher. Well, it was the only valve.

The lobsters tossed in, he ran it and turned. Right that was sorted. He returned to the salad and took it off the stove. Seared-served salad, was it? Good.

There was a crunch from the dishwasher, steams billowed into the ceiling. Done already? This cooking thing was easy.

Anthony ran in, wild-eyed. “They want a baked Alaska!”

Gaspar felt faint. Alaska was halfway across the world. He couldn’t get any in time.

The Quest # 20

One in and one rejected. So be it. Still haven’t reached out for a children’s book agent, but that’s locked and loaded. So far this year I have written a thousand words each weekday. A friend of mine has begun to query and has been sending me some agents that she comes across. Nice to have some company on the quest.

I have a lot of little booklets where I write down various ideas. One of these is for interesting words that I come across. They are not necessarily new words. Someone used the word attentive around me and I thought that it was a good word, so I wrote it down for later use.

Also in there are ocean zones, zones of the atmosphere, various old coins and Latin phrases. Once I hear a great word, or read it, I put it in the booklet and keep it mind. It’s a good strategy for remembering new words or information to bring into books. Maybe next time I will talk about the other ideas books.

Thanks for reading. The Quest continues!

Michael

Flash Friday #8

Rory Kaufman: Dentist to the Stars

A heavy pirate ship stole across the void. It was coming right at Rory. He wasn’t sure why they wanted him, but there was no avoiding it. He was in a little rock hopper. They had nukes.

The two ships drifted towards each other on intercept course. He could run, but that seemed stupid. Whatever these pirates thought they were going to find, but they were going to be disappointed, and that meant he was going to get hurt.

Rory’s only saving grace was that he was bonded and insured. Everything he lost today, apart from maybe his life, would be replaced.

So all he had to do was keep his life and most things would come out okay.

His ship was taken by the pirates, and docked violently. Rory straightened his uniform and walked from the bridge into his office/living space/bed. It wasn’t a big ship. There he waited for the day to end.

The airlock was hacked open an in poured a hoard of hairy, dirty barbarians. These men made their living robbing the stars. They weren’t going to take showers.

“Hello. Welcome to my practice,” Rory said.

“Practice? What’s a practice?” one of the hair masses said. “Aren’t you a gold transport?”

Rory balked. “Gold? I wish. I’m a dentist. I work with teeth.”

The pirates didn’t trust him, naturally. They tossed the place, throwing his fine tuned instruments all over. Rory could do nothing but watch. At least they weren’t killing him.

“What are these?”

Rory looked around and saw a pirate holding a box labeled crowns. Couldn’t they read? “Those are crowns.”

The pirates grew excited. They tore the box open. Crowns spilled out. Confused, they turned to look at him. Rory saw anger there.

“What? Those are crowns. I’m a dentist, not some warlord or smuggler.”

“So, you fix teeth?”

“Yes, that’s what I’ve been telling you.”

The pirates smiled wide. Their teeth were terrible, rotting. Rory nodded. There was gold in the stars, you just needed to know where to look.