I thought I would write a quick rant this week. I don’t know if it will end up being quick after all, so let’s just hope. The rant is about a phrase I hate.
The offending phrase is “You can’t write that” or any sort of variation on that theme. This phrase is used all the time to describe rather mundane coincidences. It will be used by an announcer at a sports event when a sports team makes a comeback or when a player gets revenge on their old team or achieves some obscure and manufactured statistic.
It drives me crazy.
The reason I object to it is because yes I can. I can write that. I can write a Cinderella sports story. They make up half of all sports stories. Also, last minutes comebacks happen every week in sports. Last year, the Bears did it seven times. Ask anyone about their favorite sports story and I will bet that it has as underdog story.
The big statistics have all been placed out of reach for the average player and the average game, so they say ever more ridiculous things to make it seem interesting.
Writers can come up with any stat. Or any win condition under dire circumstances. Michael Jordan won in Space Jam when he was a cartoon. In some stories I come up with goblin names. I think I can write “And then they won,” or “the lovable goofballs made the shot and all the town celebrated.”
It is such a bad phrase, It never describes anything unlikely. It just gets shoehorned into moments that would do better off without someone talking nonsense. The phrase is one that I will never use n my writing or in my life. It’s terrible.
Thanks for reading,
Michael
Michael Frutig 