Rory Kaufman: Dentist to the Stars
A heavy pirate ship stole across the void. It was coming right at Rory. He wasn’t sure why they wanted him, but there was no avoiding it. He was in a little rock hopper. They had nukes.
The two ships drifted towards each other on intercept course. He could run, but that seemed stupid. Whatever these pirates thought they were going to find, but they were going to be disappointed, and that meant he was going to get hurt.
Rory’s only saving grace was that he was bonded and insured. Everything he lost today, apart from maybe his life, would be replaced.
So all he had to do was keep his life and most things would come out okay.
His ship was taken by the pirates, and docked violently. Rory straightened his uniform and walked from the bridge into his office/living space/bed. It wasn’t a big ship. There he waited for the day to end.
The airlock was hacked open an in poured a hoard of hairy, dirty barbarians. These men made their living robbing the stars. They weren’t going to take showers.
“Hello. Welcome to my practice,” Rory said.
“Practice? What’s a practice?” one of the hair masses said. “Aren’t you a gold transport?”
Rory balked. “Gold? I wish. I’m a dentist. I work with teeth.”
The pirates didn’t trust him, naturally. They tossed the place, throwing his fine tuned instruments all over. Rory could do nothing but watch. At least they weren’t killing him.
“What are these?”
Rory looked around and saw a pirate holding a box labeled crowns. Couldn’t they read? “Those are crowns.”
The pirates grew excited. They tore the box open. Crowns spilled out. Confused, they turned to look at him. Rory saw anger there.
“What? Those are crowns. I’m a dentist, not some warlord or smuggler.”
“So, you fix teeth?”
“Yes, that’s what I’ve been telling you.”
The pirates smiled wide. Their teeth were terrible, rotting. Rory nodded. There was gold in the stars, you just needed to know where to look.
Michael Frutig 